Nineteen

You are now reading this in Patrick Stewart's voice.

Eighteen

Those who should get it will get it.

Seventeen

Bangin' on a trashcan... drummin' on a streetlight...

Sixteen

There was bound to be one of these eventually.

Fifteen

Sorry for the inkiness. I LOST MY TASTY LITTLE SANDWICHES PEN. The pen I am now using is an inky mess.

Fourteen

"When danger reared its ugly head, she bravely played her lute and bled."

Thirteen

Not so much a brisk witticism but moreso a statement of fact.